When I was young I had to write a report on a President. Naturally, all the children wrote reports on George Washington and Abraham Lincoln and because it was Catholic school, John F. Kennedy. I was a straight A student, I wouldn’t do what all the other kids were doing. My mom instructed me to ask my father, he told me without a second guess “FDR.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a name I would utter at least 1000 times in the 20 years that have passed. I learned about The New Deal and the 2nd World War. I learned that he was the only American President to be elected 4 times and I learned about the Great Depression. At this point, I was a ravenous 9-year-old girl, ready to consume any book on FDR I could get my little hands on. Only President to be crippled, that’s him. Married his 3rd cousin, I knew it. I would use his brand of politics as a basis of my own world views. This plus my Catholic upbringing gave me a strong sense that we must help those who are less fortunate than us. I spent my teenage years being the outspoken liberal in a Catholic, complacent world.

Years later, I was working in Albany, NY. I was doing God’s work, as we liked to call it. Organizing poor nursing home workers into our union. It was a tremendous job, something that I am thankful to this day I stumbled upon. I learned that only about 2 hours south is where FDR called his home, in Hyde Park, NY. I dreamed of going but never made it there. For years later, I swore that at only 3 hours north, I had no excuse not to go but still, never saw it.

So as we entered the visitor center, there were huge displays about Social Security, it turns 75 this year, after all. Strange, I am the convener of the Social Security Coalition in my state. I watched a short film on him as we waited for our tour, I felt the hair on my arms rise when they described his death and how Americans mourned. I tried to put myself in their shoes but it was futile, I never knew such a leader and never knew such hard times. It was a hot day, the last week of June. We took the tour and the guide told us some beautiful stories of his eccentricity, his courage and his leadership. We looked out over the Hudson from his backyard and prayed at his grave, while smelling the rose bushes. All in all it was a great trip. I am sure A had no idea how I felt the entire time we were there but I am so thankful we went.

I am a feminist.

I am a woman.

I love to cook.

But I prefer dinner’s out.

My cookies are divine.

But my cakes are sub-par.

I’ve been called a bitch.

More times than I can count.

I’m sure I’ve been called a slut.

But whose to judge?

When I was young I got straight As.

I was always the teacher’s pet.

The other girls called my hurtful names.

So I decided to be average.

My dad taught me about FDR.

I read every book on him I could find.

I wanted to change the world.

So I went to school for Social Work.

Politics was my real game.

Believe me, it’s a man’s world.

Tenacity gets me in the front door.

Assertiveness gets me a seat at the table.

I am tough.

And people say I am angry.

But I coo and giggle every time I see a baby.

I’ve been in love 3 times.

2 of them loved me back.

I worship fashion mags.

Vogue really gets me going.

I obsess over my body.

Every wrinkle and roll sets me back.

I believe mascara a necessary accessory.

And view my handbag as an extension of myself.

I love my body.

The way my arms feel when I flex gives me shivers.

I am real.

I am complex.

I love.

I hate.

I argue.

I cry.

I flirt.

I hold grudges.

I dream.

And obsess.

I am a woman.

Not a perfect woman.

But a strong woman.

I am a feminist.

There comes a time, about 10 pm, when A and I have eaten and talked a while and want to lay in bed and watch a movie on his laptop.  We use my Netflix, this is when the pain sets in.  I like movies.  I don’t see every movie because I am very particular.  I grew up in a house where movies were important.  Acting was importing.  Writing was important.  We were critical about everything that was absolute junk and if it was good, well, we watched it again and again.  I prefer a good, critically acclaimed drama, or a silly comedy.  A, on the other hand, likes romance movies.  Yes, my boyfriend watches chick flicks.  Its terrible, we fought for two weeks over his desire to watch Ghost.  So when it comes time to pick a movie we get to take turns.  But my picks usually get turned off in 10 minutes and his movies, well, I just fall asleep.  A likes to peruse the “steamy romance” section for an unholy amount of time.  He recently made me watch Basic Instinct 2!  I fear this will be a lifelong struggle!

I have plans to start a new blog.  A is buying me the domain and building it for me.  I plan to write a blog from the perspective on a true Gen-Y.  I was at a Social Security policy training a couple of weeks back and it occurred to me that the generations before me, they don’t get us.  They don’t get the very unique situation on people born after 1980.  We live in a new world and live lives very different from our parents.  I am going to write about the social problems of the day and how they affect me and my generation.  So look out!

Over the past few nights I’ve had some very vivid, different dreams.  They’ve really stuck with me and I am amazed at how accurately you can analyze your dreams with a dream dictionary.  The important things is trying to remember as many details as possible and look up the meaning of each individual symbol.

The first one I had a few nights ago, it’s just haunted me.  I got into a raft at dusk, A was there with me and we were with a group of people.  It was like the raft you might get into at an adventure river ride at Six Flags.  The water was chopping and the raft flipped to the side and A fell out, he can’t swim so I jumped in after him, I can’t remember if he drown or not but the water was so dark.

Raft
To see a raft in your dream, indicates that you have not built a firm foundation for success. There is still much work ahead.

To dream that you are floating on a raft, suggests that you are drifting through life, not knowing where you are headed. You are confused about your purpose and direction in life.

To dream that you are white water rafting, means that you are experiencing some turbulent times.

Waves
To dream that you are caught in a tidal wave, represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention. You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. You may be holding back tears that you are afraid to express in your waking life. On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old habits. If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it means that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place.

Dusk
To see the dusk of day in your dream, signifies defeated hopes and a dark, gloom outlook in your endeavors.

Drowning
To see someone drowning in your dream, suggests that you are becoming too deeply involved in something that is beyond your control. Alternatively, it represents a sense of loss in your own identity. You are unable to differentiate who you are anymore.

Spooky, right?

The second dream came last night.  I am having a hard time really piecing it together, I am getting quick flashes of it, though I do remember one things really standing out.  I was near my elementary school, there is new development there now but it appeared as it did when I was growing up.  There was a plane crash in a field next to the school, I witnessed the whole thing.  I did nothing, just stood and watched.

Airplane Crash
To dream that a plane crashes, signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. You are in danger of having those goals come crashing down. Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt. You do not believe in your own ability to achieve those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

Field
To see green fields in your dream, symbolize great abundance, freedom, and happiness. You may also be going through a period of personal growth. Alternatively, this dream may simply be an expression for your love of nature.

School
To dream that your childhood school is in ruins, suggests that you are dwelling on some unresolved childhood issue. Alternatively, the dream represents the passage of time. You need to look toward the future instead of reliving the past.

Looks like this dream might have to do with me not living up to my own expectations of life progress.

Well I hope that maybe this motivates you to inspect your own dreams.  I am pretty amazed at what the subconscious mind can tell us about ourselves.  Conversely, I hope you share your dreams with me.  I really do love dreams andcould talk about them just about every day

Dream analyzation via dreammoods.com

It’s Feminism.  Like in your face, preach sister, unabashed feminism.  The kind of feminism I love and is rarely shown in public.  What is it about us?  Is it a mere coincidence?  Or is that we are romantically involved with partners from more traditional gender role cultures?  I know I was always a feminist.  I manage women’s campaigns, I am a member of NOW and Planned Parenthood and yet, I probably talk about feminism the least.  I always appreciate the candor my fellow bloghers have about their beliefs in gender equality.  So for now I gotta say “keep preaching it sisters.”

I recently found a sweet little movie on my Netflix instant Queue, Sabah: A Love Story.  It’s about a Muslim woman who lives in Canada and falls in love with a blonde haired, blue eyes non-Muslim man.  I decided to add it because my A loves him some romantic movies (he is begging me to watch Ghost with him but I am not having any of that.)  He decided it wasn’t for him because the leading lady was not attractive, so I watched it on my own.  It was very sweet, dealt with some of the issues many of us deal with and overall I would recommend it.

So in the mean time, I am going to actually start to try to learn Urdu and Punjabi.  You know, more than the handful of words I know now.  To the goris who’ve successfully learned Urdu, what were the resources you used?  Any websites you would suggest?

Well if you call repealing healthcare reform, debating the US Constitution on the House floor and investigating the radicalization of American Muslims job creation and cutting debt, then sure, that’s what they are doing.  Oh and while they are at it, they plan on repealing Wall Street Reform, because hey, Wall Street totally didn’t f%ck up the economy, right?

Hey America, I told you so.  These next couple of years will certainly tough, I predict a witch hunt that will make the whole Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky/impeachment thing look like just some school yard gossip.

On a kinder note, the 1st Female Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, ended her tenure today (let’s hope for just 2 years.) And she will go down as quite possibly the most effective Speaker of the House in American history, also she’s a snazzy dresser.  I salute her and wish her many years of success.

Madam Speaker

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