First here’s some crappy cell phone pictures!!!
Best picture taken
Blurry picture of me sitting
I have no idea what's going on with my eyes....
So now that you saw my crappy photos (crappy right?) Let’s go into my impressions of the Pakistani wedding (let’s just say it was not as I had expected.
The wedding was very small, it was put together last-minute and was the groom’s second marriage so it wasn’t all the hype of the first and certainly not like anything I’ve seen on Maharani Weddings. It was in a small room at a hotel in Atlantic City. There wasn’t any decor, only some very humble center pieces on the tables. I was expecting some kind of gender segregation, like I’ve read about here and to a lesser extent here. I also did not expect any dancing. The latter was true, there was no dancing at this wedding but it was certainly co-ed. This made me feel so much more at ease. A and I sat down essentially at the kids table, there were SO MANY KIDS! I didn’t expect children, I supposed because you would never bring children to a white American wedding but these are usually affairs where alcohol is heartedly consumed so I guess I can see why children at the Pakistani wedding was no big deal. Also I was not the only non-desi, there were two young women, one white the other African-American also attending, they were in western dresses, they sat by themselves and were obviously friends of the bride.
After some photos with the bride and groom, we had some appetizers and the kids got up and started running around. The groom’s brother and his wife came over and sat with us. They were very nice people. The groom’s brother has been an American for some time now and was even once married to a white woman, he didn’t even look Pakistani, more Italian if I were to guess, he asked us about our Thanksgiving, told us he made an entire American Thanksgiving for all his family, about 20 of them, turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, mashed potatoes, the works. I loved it. His wife was very striking and very nice. She was sort of amused with me, she doted on me telling me how pretty I looked, making sure the food wasn’t too spicy, that I enjoyed my meal. She even took a picture with me.
Pictures! Let’s talk pictures. So it occurred to me that the main event of the reception was getting your picture taken, on stage, with the bride and groom. What fascinated me was that no one smiles in any of their photos, especially not with teeth. I watched and watched each couple get on stage, share a few words, there would be some laughter then STRAIGHT FACE FOR THE CAMERA! When it was my turn, I didn’t smile, though the photographer did take a photo of me when I first sat down and I gave a big, toothy grin. This makes me think back to my trip to Maine when A took a picture of me and asked me not to smile, then a couple of weeks ago we were sitting at dinner, he pulls out his cell phone and says “look at how cute” hands me the phone and there is a picture of me looking like I am about the scream/cry (my default face looks pretty unhappy) So I am guessing this is where his love of my non-smile in photos comes from.
Clothes! So I bought a saree last-minute from a local wholesale website, well two and the above was what I chose. For $30 it wasn’t a bad purchase. A and I watched youtube how to’s the night before and practiced. He wrapped me day of and we pinned it like crazy. The pallu and how to wear it concerned me a bit, I was never quite sure what to do with it, I mostly wrapped it around my back and draped it over my right elbow. I watched all the women in both their saris and shalwar and it seems like these aren’t just difficult garments for this gori but all women are constantly, lifting, draping, pulling at their outfits respectively. I also mimicked what I saw the other women doing with their pallus. My sari looked so plain in comparison to some of the very ornate and flashy clothing the women were wearing. Also there were adult twins wearing the same outfit, I was most fascinated by the two of them. A promised to get me a nice suit and sari from Pakistan so that the next function I am dressed to impress!
So that is my story, I am sure I am forgetting so much more. A said there were several men staring at me and he got a bit upset but I had no idea, I wasn’t looking at any of the men, the clothes were too pretty and the non-smiling thing was too interesting for me to pay any mind to the men there!
